[It's not that he can't imagine Clark angry. It's that Clark's anger seems to run inside, he keeps it to himself while Illya's anger explodes and burns everyone around him. Probably why he doesn't usually have people around him.]
[Once the address is sent he wonders if he should ask Clark what made him so angry, but it feels weird to do it over text. At least to Illya, since text is still pretty new to him and it feels impersonal. So he sends him a short ‘see you tomorrow’ and… goes cook himself something quick, since he doesn’t think he’ll fall back asleep any time soon.
The next day, Illya will be waiting for Clark at the designed spot near the entrance of the woods, way earlier than what he’d told Clark because he’s honestly kind of nervous.]
[ Clark arrives about ten minutes earlier too, only to find that he's actually late? He nods at Illya and smiles at him, but it's a pathetic one. He looks much more subdued than usual, and isn't really feeling cheerful. ]
Is there a shooting range here? I've never come to this part of the woods.
I go to the shooting range to practice sometimes, but it’s usually full. There are no dangers here unless we go deeper inside and there won’t be anyone to bother us.
[And if he’s honest, he wanted to be alone with Clark. He may not have pushed it over text, but he definitely wants to know what or who would make Clark angry enough to go looking for Illya’s advice. Last time he saw him so unhappy Kara and Lois had left, leaving him alone with Jon.]
I made a target on that tree already when I came here with Taako. [He motions at it.] And I have a gun for you to try.
[Illya frowns. He wants to know, of course he does. He’s not only curious, he was trained to gather information so the fact that he’s been choosing to live with the idea that there’s a part of Clark he won’t know says a lot about how much he appreciates their friendship. And now he has the chance to change that.]
I… [He pauses for a second, trying to find the right words. He still speaks in English, because he wants to make what he’s going to say very clear to Clark.]
I want to know, yes. But only if you are ready to share, not just because you feel you have to.
[Illya was ready for... a lot of things. He was half-expecting him to be a spy himself, that would have been a story to tell. He was not ready for this, but to be fair aliens isn't exactly something he'd ever consider. Even in here, where he's met some he's still getting used to the idea of them. Of course he wouldn't think one of his friends in this place is one of them.]
[Illya doesn't know what to say. Or rather, he has a lot of questions but none that would be appropriate to ask to someone he considers a friend. This shouldn’t change anything- this doesn’t change anything, but he can’t help but be terribly curious.]
...Okay. [He repeats as he puts his thoughts in order. Then he tilts his head.] Should I call you Clark or Kal then? Is that the reason you were angry?
[He knows Clark being honest with him like this means Illya will have to be honest with him as well. And he will… eventually. Clark kind of knows part of it already, and he’s been choosing to respect it. Illya will share with him, he knows he will eventually. But only when he’s ready.
When Clark explains himself, though, he quickly balls his hands into fists. He isn’t even bothering masking his anger, it’s clear as water in his eyes.]
[His anger fades away a little bit when he looks at Clark, but not completely. He takes a few moments to compose himself, and he taps two fingers against his side in a rhythmic pattern. Clark hasn’t gotten Illya angry, so he may not recognize that gesture as the sign of anxiety and anger it actually is. But no tables have been flipped yet, so it’s probably safe for now.]
It’s… my job, Clark .[His jaw clenches. He can’t tell him, not straight away, not openly. But he knows Clark’s smart enough to put two and two together by now, so he has to be very careful.]
I hurt people who deserve it. [And more than hurt, but this is not the time to talk about that.]
[ Clark doesn't know what that tapping means, but he reaches out to grip Illya's shoulder gently and looks at him. Trying to keep him here. ]
I'm not saying don't do it ever. [ He knows what kind of people exist out there in the world. Clark doesn't know how many of them he'll face now that he's a superhero, but he knows he will do it when it's asked of him. ] He's dangerous, or sadistic, that's enough of a reason. Revenge isn't. It's not what I want to teach my son.
[It’s the last part that makes Illya react, that makes Illya’s expression soften a little bit. He was raised around violence, he learned very very young that every action has a consequence and that sometimes you have to be jury, judge and executioner. But he doesn’t want Jon to have to learn that.
He doesn’t pull away from Clark’s touch.]
...He’s a sweet kid. He should keep being one. [He says eventually. Still tense, but less so.] Is he alright?
If I can't help by making them pay, [And his tone makes it clear he would still very much like you, but he is going to stay away from this for Clark and Jon's sake.] I would like to help in some other way.
[He tilts his head, looking up and down at Clark.] You said you are alien. Jon is, as well.
[Luckily for them both and their friendship he’s seen so much, gone through so many weird things since he ended up here that while what Clark is describing at first shocks him, he decides he can accept it. There’s more to Clark than meets the eye, he’s always known that, he was just wrong about what ‘more’ entailed.
But the last part...]
So when I told you my name, you… knew? [He’s gonna need a few more moments to figure out how he feels about that. Right now it feels a little… like Clark has been laughing at him behind his back.]
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[It's not that he can't imagine Clark angry. It's that Clark's anger seems to run inside, he keeps it to himself while Illya's anger explodes and burns everyone around him. Probably why he doesn't usually have people around him.]
Do you know how to shoot?
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Would you be willing to teach me?
[ It's also his way of asking if Illya is okay being around him when he's like this. ]
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[He'd go now if he could, but shooting in the dark for the first time doesn't sound like the best idea.]
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I'll see you then.
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The next day, Illya will be waiting for Clark at the designed spot near the entrance of the woods, way earlier than what he’d told Clark because he’s honestly kind of nervous.]
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Is there a shooting range here? I've never come to this part of the woods.
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I go to the shooting range to practice sometimes, but it’s usually full. There are no dangers here unless we go deeper inside and there won’t be anyone to bother us.
[And if he’s honest, he wanted to be alone with Clark. He may not have pushed it over text, but he definitely wants to know what or who would make Clark angry enough to go looking for Illya’s advice. Last time he saw him so unhappy Kara and Lois had left, leaving him alone with Jon.]
I made a target on that tree already when I came here with Taako. [He motions at it.] And I have a gun for you to try.
But… do you want to talk, first?
I <3 your Illya
He's used to it. But he doesn't know if he can keep doing it right now. ]
Yeah but... I want to be completely honest with you.
[ It's hard to explain with their secrets hanging over them. Clark always wants to trust. ]
Do you want that?
I <3 your Clark! :>
I… [He pauses for a second, trying to find the right words. He still speaks in English, because he wants to make what he’s going to say very clear to Clark.]
I want to know, yes. But only if you are ready to share, not just because you feel you have to.
thank you!
[ He's been ready for a long time. He trusts Illya.
Clark didn't want him to feel he had to give up his own secret in turn. ]
My name is Clark, but it's also Kal. I'm from another planet. I was sent to Earth by my family, and I've been there ever since.
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...You're an alien?
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[Illya doesn't know what to say. Or rather, he has a lot of questions but none that would be appropriate to ask to someone he considers a friend. This shouldn’t change anything- this doesn’t change anything, but he can’t help but be terribly curious.]
...Okay. [He repeats as he puts his thoughts in order. Then he tilts his head.] Should I call you Clark or Kal then? Is that the reason you were angry?
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[ He breathes out very sharply. ]
Someone hurt Jon because of who he is.
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When Clark explains himself, though, he quickly balls his hands into fists. He isn’t even bothering masking his anger, it’s clear as water in his eyes.]
Who?
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We can't do anything about that.
[ This would be a very different conversation if it was. ]
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[He’s a firm believer of an eye for an eye so he’s not going to be a good influence on that regard.]
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But that's not the person he ever wants to be.
Clark hesitates, and he swallows. Then he speaks softly. ]
Please, don't. Not for our sake.
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It’s… my job, Clark .[His jaw clenches. He can’t tell him, not straight away, not openly. But he knows Clark’s smart enough to put two and two together by now, so he has to be very careful.]
I hurt people who deserve it. [And more than hurt, but this is not the time to talk about that.]
I told you that’s how I deal with my anger.
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I'm not saying don't do it ever. [ He knows what kind of people exist out there in the world. Clark doesn't know how many of them he'll face now that he's a superhero, but he knows he will do it when it's asked of him. ] He's dangerous, or sadistic, that's enough of a reason. Revenge isn't. It's not what I want to teach my son.
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He doesn’t pull away from Clark’s touch.]
...He’s a sweet kid. He should keep being one. [He says eventually. Still tense, but less so.] Is he alright?
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[ Jon's a tough child, but he's lost some of his innocence. Clark withdraws and puts his arms akimbo. ]
I guess we'll see.
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[He tilts his head, looking up and down at Clark.] You said you are alien. Jon is, as well.
What makes you different from me?
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There's no way this won't be invasive and frightening. ]
I'm a lot stronger and faster than humans. I can fly. [ Most relevant to Illya: ] I can also tell when someone is lying.
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But the last part...]
So when I told you my name, you… knew? [He’s gonna need a few more moments to figure out how he feels about that. Right now it feels a little… like Clark has been laughing at him behind his back.]
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